*A licensed therapist and first time mom watches her husband gain weight throughout their marriage. BHM, romance, sexual content*
It was 5pm on Friday when I carefully drove into the garage and pushed the off button on my Acura MDX3. I slipped my black suede heels back onto my feet and took a moment to myself before opening the car door. It had been a busy 16 months since Penny was born. Busy, but oh so beautiful.
I worked three days a week helping my clients as a clinical therapist, and I truly loved my professional job. My mom was also a licensed therapist, so it was just the two of us in our rented building, plus Diane, our receptionist. When Penny enters kindergarten, I’ll go back to work full time and my mom will switch to part time before fully retiring. I’ve always had a passion for people, but nothing compared to coming home and devoting my time to the little person that grew inside of my belly.
A smile came over my lips as I pushed out of my seat and clicked my heels toward the mudroom door. I could hear our nanny, Sarah, laughing at something Penny was up to as I walked inside. I turned the corner into our living room, and immediately my heart felt like it was being wrapped in the warmest hug that love could give. A blonde haired, blue eyed toddler quickly made her way over to me with the biggest squeals of delight. As expected, I picked her up and cradled a pair of the most kissable cheeks underneath my chin.
“Hiiii, Penny girl! And hello to you, Mrs. Sarah. How did the day go?” Sarah was a huge blessing to me and Zach. She was married and in her late 40s, but was sadly never able to have children of her own. Sarah poured her heart and soul into Penny, and knowing this made my transition back to work much easier.
“We had a good day, didn’t we Penny? We walked to the park and fed the ducks, then fed ourselves some snacks before heading back home. Her nap time and overall schedule was a little off, but I wrote everything down in the binder. She’s already eaten dinner- grilled chicken, couscous and frozen peas. I let her have some Annie’s fruit snacks after her meal, so don’t let her convince you that she hasn’t had something sweet! Your and Zach’s dinner is on the stove to be reheated when he gets home, and there’s enough for tomorrow as well.”
Everyone needs a Sarah in their life.
“It smells great! You are such a life saver, thank you so much. Don’t worry about picking those toys up, I’ll do that. You go home and relax. I’ll see you tomorrow at 6pm? Zach won’t tell me the details, but I’m sure he’s let you in on a few...”
“I will not be spoiling any birthday surprises, so don’t you even try it, Mrs. Brooke!” I smiled and closed the door, exhaling a breath that had been hiding beneath my ribs all day. It’s officially the weekend.
I turned my head to a smiling Penny, “Just you and me, girlie.” I unbuttoned the first few buttons of my silk blouse to unhook the straps of my lace nursing bra. I promised myself that once I became a mother, I would not lose my sense of self. And a lace nursing bra made me feel more sexy.
I walked us up the first set of wooden stairs, pivoting slightly and adjusting Penny on my hip before conquering the second flight. I reached the upstairs landing and made my way down the long corridor, turning the pretty sconces on as I walked to the very last room on the left- Penny’s room, made for a princess. I rocked us both under the lamp as I nursed her, studying her features carefully so I would never forget the sweetness of my child’s face. A delicate nose sat beneath two of the biggest and bluest eyes I’ve ever seen on a child. They were a replica of my eyes, a deep blue like the Aegean Sea. I tucked a few strands of her wispy blonde curls behind her ear and basked in the moment of her body tucked close to mine, listening as her little breaths caught on to a sleepy and slow rhythm. I never planned to nurse a toddler, but I also never knew the bond that came along with breastfeeding. I’d only known my breasts to be sexual, not nurturing, and it really made me feel kickass that I could be in assistance to both.
A few minutes later, I felt the faint tickling vibration of the garage opening below us, followed by the hum of Zach’s BMW coup. Zach worked in corporate law as a General Counsel to his grandfather’s oldest and dearest friend. If he continued to play his cards right, in a few years, Zach would also be V.P of the company. At 36, Zach was intelligent, personable, and really genuine. He had thick, dark hair that was just a tad wavy, worn short on the sides and a few inches longer on top. And his eyes, oh how I loved his eyes. From afar they looked to be honey brown, but up close they had hues of green in certain places. No one could see the green unless they were up close to his face, and at 6’1, that didn’t happen often. But I knew. It was like our little secret.
“Did you save some for me?” Zach smirked as he walked toward me and Penny. She was clearly done with nursing once she saw her daddy. He leaned down to kiss my lips first, then slowly, he brushed my blonde hair away from my neck and softly kissed the sensitive skin a few inches below my ear. Mmm, that dirty dog.
“Why, hello, Miss Penny!” Zach said as he picked our eager daughter up and smoothed her little curls out of her face. How much mischief did you cause today? As much as your momma? Well, that’s a lot of mischief!” As he said this, I searched for the perfect spot on his belly to quickly smack the back of my fingers on. It wasn’t hard to find. His belly had grown slowly over our 8 years of marriage. As of recently, though, some 20-30 pounds had made their way onto his body pretty quickly.
After Penny was born, I had about 35 pounds to lose on my petite 5’3 frame. Having been a natural athlete, it really wasn’t all that hard to shed them. My sister and I secretly joked that what I lost, Zach found. I made Meg swear to NEVER mention Zach’s weight to him. At 18 months apart, my older sister was my best friend.
Zach was pushing around 245 as of a few weeks ago. I stole a peek when he stepped on the scale to weigh Penny, and I subtracted her weight from the total number I saw blinking on the scale. I knew his 2 week beer indulgence had a lot to do with the increase of his weight, as of recently, anyway. He came back from Mexico with his college law buddies looking tan and bloated like a fat tick. Even his face carried the bloat.
When we first started dating, I was 22 and Zach was 26. He was pretty skinny for his build, at 157. I didn’t mind though, because I was petite at 115 pounds. When we got married at 24 and 28, Zach was about 167 lbs while I stayed the same. When I got pregnant at 29, I was probably around 123 lbs and got up to a curvy 165 lbs by the end of it. Zach hit 195 and didn’t seem phased, and honestly, he filled out pretty evenly so the extra weight looked healthy on him.
“What’s for dinner, babes?” I snapped out of my thoughts and looked up at Zach, looking half way back at me while changing Penny into her jammies. His cheeks didn’t look like they’d lost any bloat from Mexico, and that was 2 months ago.
I picked out a book for Zach to read to Penny, shut her thick plantation shutters and closed her blush colored drapes over the top of them.
“Pure deliciousness, that’s what’s for dinner. And later on, if you leave some room, you can finish off that pie Sarah made a few days ago.”
As I said this, I slowly squeezed his cushy love handle that poofed out over his belt. A flirty, satisfactory sound escaped from my throat, which Zach played off of when he asked, “Well how much later? You know I love my dessert.”
(more to come)
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