Secret Message Service!

Dimensions Magazine

Help Support Dimensions Magazine:

What kind of messages should be allowed?

  • Positive only! Smiles all around.

  • Positive AND negative! More fun, after all.

  • Negative only! I realize this isn't actually an option, but I'm a jerk.


Results are only viewable after voting.

Tad

Dimensions' loiterer
Joined
Sep 29, 2005
Messages
13,264
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The great white north, eh?
(This is Cobra Verde by the way. I wouldn't have posted this anonymously but you've banned me for weeks
Amaranthine: with mod. hat on, could you please not do any more non-anonymous posts? This tends to make it difficult for mods to react to innapropriate comments.

Cobra Verde: for deliberately trying to work around a ban, of course there will have to be a response. Please don't be a weasel in the future.
 

lucca23v2

Curves for miles
Joined
Jan 19, 2014
Messages
2,015
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,
I think it is a good thread. I also believe some people are using it to make personal attack on others under the "anonymous" thing.

My opionion, if you have that much of a problem with someone, be adult enough to talk to them about it. Don't be a chicken and use the anonymous post to insult them or throw digs.

We are all adults and should act as such. If you have constructive criticism that may come off harsh, then figure out a way to post it without making the other person feel bad.
 

Esther

Queen Black Acid
Joined
Nov 18, 2008
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2,057
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What say others, does that sound like a fair guideline to ask people to follow?
It's reasonable to ask, but it's pretty hard to tell whether some of these attacks are coming from a group, or just one person.
 

Surlysomething

In Remembrance
In Remembrance
Joined
Jan 12, 2007
Messages
11,704
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, Female
Thanks, Josie..you're one of the kindest people on the site and one of the most genuine people i've ever had the pleasure of getting to know and you actually took the time to break through my hard outer shell to find out that i'm really just a big baby when it comes to the important things (but don't sing any Christmas songs for awhile, I can't handle it! My eyes need diapers every time - haha).

I have bigger fish to fry in my life so taking internet "courage" posts to heart really isn't at the top of my priority list. I really prefer the ones where someone is crushing on me. ;) Or the ones that express the blatant love of my boobs, because they ARE fantastic.



Do what SurlySomething does, stick your tits out (real or metaphorical) and keep on keeping on. Don't let some faceless asshole tell you who you are.
 

lille

Well-Known Member
Joined
Feb 21, 2011
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1,220
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,
I've gotten a couple shitty messages, and a few lovely ones. If I kept getting message after message telling me how terrible I was, two things would cross my mind either a) someONE doesn't like me and they're being cowardly or b) people DO think I'm shitty and I'd take the whole thing as constructive.

Really though, who cares what, not only a random person, but an anonymous person from the Internet thinks? It's a sincere question, why care? Do what SurlySomething does, stick your tits out (real or metaphorical) and keep on keeping on. Don't let some faceless asshole tell you who you are. Unless it's several faceless assholes, then maybe take it into consideration.
I think it's easy to say that you shouldn't care what a faceless person says, but not everyone finds that as easy as you do. Especially because it's not just a random anonymous person, it's someone who is part of this community that can be sort of a safe space for people, so it can feel like a betrayal. Not everyone can just throw it back the way Surly does.
 

Amaranthine

Adamant Anti-Nihilist
Joined
Aug 7, 2010
Messages
1,438
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,
My suggestion is that as a rule of thumb: No follow-up comments. Make your comment, then you are done with the topic. The person can ignore it, thank you, deflect it, argue against it.... but whatever, let it be. If you have an issue with the person and want an on-going dialogue, you can obviously do that, but not anonymously.

What say others, does that sound like a fair guideline to ask people to follow?
I think this is a good idea, to help cut down with the drama. It seems like a number of the negative comments happen just because of someone's response to other negative comments.

Amaranthine: with mod. hat on, could you please not do any more non-anonymous posts? This tends to make it difficult for mods to react to innapropriate comments.
Done. Like I said, it wasn't really a situation I expected to encounter.

My opionion, if you have that much of a problem with someone, be adult enough to talk to them about it. Don't be a chicken and use the anonymous post to insult them or throw digs.

We are all adults and should act as such. If you have constructive criticism that may come off harsh, then figure out a way to post it without making the other person feel bad.
I agree with this. At least compliment-sandwich it.

And I get that the general consensus is that this should be a positive thread. I don't disagree. I certainly do like reading all the compliments, and like it even more when people enjoy reading them about themselves.

This has been my personal conflict - which may very well be the minority opinion. If someone dislikes me, or something about me...I'd like to know. It may be unjustified, or it may merely be an aspect of my personality that I've long decided that I like and some other people may not like. And if so, so it goes. But it may also be a flaw that I wasn't aware of. Which is something that I'd really be interested in knowing. That's probably not going to be something that anyone will just come right out and say non-anonymously, and even if that did start happening, it'd probably just lead to a bunch of grudges and hostility in this sort of environment.

So meanness obviously isn't good. But, you know. If you get a few messages to that tune, maybe you should step back and figure out WHY it happened.

But for purposes of maintaining a harmonious sub-forum and thread environment, really try to refrain from posting mostly-negative comments. It makes it easier to post the messages, and relieves me of the conflict of thinking people should know how they're perceived no matter what.
 

lucca23v2

Curves for miles
Joined
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I agree with this. At least compliment-sandwich it.

And I get that the general consensus is that this should be a positive thread. I don't disagree. I certainly do like reading all the compliments, and like it even more when people enjoy reading them about themselves.

This has been my personal conflict - which may very well be the minority opinion. If someone dislikes me, or something about me...I'd like to know. It may be unjustified, or it may merely be an aspect of my personality that I've long decided that I like and some other people may not like. And if so, so it goes. But it may also be a flaw that I wasn't aware of. Which is something that I'd really be interested in knowing. That's probably not going to be something that anyone will just come right out and say non-anonymously, and even if that did start happening, it'd probably just lead to a bunch of grudges and hostility in this sort of environment.

So meanness obviously isn't good. But, you know. If you get a few messages to that tune, maybe you should step back and figure out WHY it happened.

But for purposes of maintaining a harmonious sub-forum and thread environment, really try to refrain from posting mostly-negative comments. It makes it easier to post the messages, and relieves me of the conflict of thinking people should know how they're perceived no matter what.
Exactly! I don't think there is anything wrong with the thread. I actually like it. and as you said, it might help others, myself included, maybe clear up some miscommunication, or misunderstanding, or fix some "flaw" that we might not even realize we are doing.

Just find a more better way of phrasing it. Lets face it, we all prefer the cherry flavored Halls.. it is medicine that tastes nasty, but we love the cherry flavoring it comes with. This is not to say everything should be sugar coated, just maybe find a way to make it less harsh and less offensive to the person.
 

lucca23v2

Curves for miles
Joined
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Messages
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,
Amaranthine: with mod. hat on, could you please not do any more non-anonymous posts? This tends to make it difficult for mods to react to innapropriate comments.

Cobra Verde: for deliberately trying to work around a ban, of course there will have to be a response. Please don't be a weasel in the future.
OK.. unpopular comment..but Tad, I don't think sensoring Cobra is a solution either. If that person has a valid point, and from reading the thread about HP, it seems that Cobra is not the only one who feels that way, it is an unjust thing to do. Granted, Cobra did not follow the rule and maybe even broken it, but sometimes you have to break a few rules for things to change. From the threads in that forum that I have read, and the Mod thread regarding it, it seems that there are other parties that should be sensored as well.

JMT
 

Tad

Dimensions' loiterer
Joined
Sep 29, 2005
Messages
13,264
Location
The great white north, eh?
Agreeing with what both Amaranthine and Lucca said, but even as a sandwich or sugar-coated... people may not accept criticism made of them. You know what? That is OK.

Even if you (generic 'you', nobody specific here) think I have some glaring fault that I should really be doing something about, I'm obviously free to disagree that I have that trait, disagree that it is a fault, or choose not to do anything about it anyway. Repeatedly hammering at the point--especially in anonymous posts on a message board--probably isn't going to change how I react to that.

I know, it is shocking, some people won't put a lot of value on the opinions of random strangers on the internet--even your's! I'm sure that in time you'll manage to get over it, and go on to have a fulfilled life anyway.
 

lucca23v2

Curves for miles
Joined
Jan 19, 2014
Messages
2,015
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,
So can we get back to the crushes and lust posts please? those are much juicier to read..:D
 

biglynch

Well-Known Member
Joined
Apr 24, 2011
Messages
1,323
Location
http://www.facebook.com/#!/aiden.j.lynch,
As I type this I imagine that I'm opening myself for a rage wave, but here goes. I have only received positive comments so I can't say shit.
If I was loop's or surly I might very well be spitting rage. That said I may or may not have posted negative commentaries. (This is fast becoming one of my worst post ever)

I like the idea of posting a topic and running with that. Amaranthine might be s kind as to give us something to target our love/rage at.

I hear Barack Obama is off limits :p
 

Goreki

Fairy tales and Woe
Joined
Oct 4, 2005
Messages
987
Location
,
I tend to find these things more amusing than anything else, but the amount of dead horse beating that's going on re Surly and Loopy is banal and unessecary.
If you have a negative opinion of either of these ladies, it's already been expressed. Move the fuck on.
If you suddenly think of a brand new witty and sparkling insult, put in your livejournal and spare the rest of us the tedium of your 'wit'.
 

lucca23v2

Curves for miles
Joined
Jan 19, 2014
Messages
2,015
Location
,
I tend to find these things more amusing than anything else, but the amount of dead horse beating that's going on re Surly and Loopy is banal and unessecary.
If you have a negative opinion of either of these ladies, it's already been expressed. Move the fuck on.
If you suddenly think of a brand new witty and sparkling insult, put in your livejournal and spare the rest of us the tedium of your 'wit'.
AMEN!!!!!!!
 

MrSensible

Welcome to Moonside.
Joined
Apr 15, 2012
Messages
490
Location
,
I agree with this. At least compliment-sandwich it.

And I get that the general consensus is that this should be a positive thread. I don't disagree. I certainly do like reading all the compliments, and like it even more when people enjoy reading them about themselves.

This has been my personal conflict - which may very well be the minority opinion. If someone dislikes me, or something about me...I'd like to know. It may be unjustified, or it may merely be an aspect of my personality that I've long decided that I like and some other people may not like. And if so, so it goes. But it may also be a flaw that I wasn't aware of. Which is something that I'd really be interested in knowing. That's probably not going to be something that anyone will just come right out and say non-anonymously, and even if that did start happening, it'd probably just lead to a bunch of grudges and hostility in this sort of environment.

So meanness obviously isn't good. But, you know. If you get a few messages to that tune, maybe you should step back and figure out WHY it happened.

But for purposes of maintaining a harmonious sub-forum and thread environment, really try to refrain from posting mostly-negative comments. It makes it easier to post the messages, and relieves me of the conflict of thinking people should know how they're perceived no matter what.
I agree that it can be interesting and possibly even eye-opening to observe more critical viewpoints about yourself, but... it's just those blatant insults; no place for them. I think that's the main issue here. If the criticism could have been kept constructive and civil, I doubt it would have been as much of a problem. And of course, like Tad said, there are likely going to be occasions where the criticisms being slung aren't necessarily true or fair. If the instigator has a grudge or a generally adverse opinion about their target, it's likely they're going to share one type of criticism about them, and one type only.

That said, I'm totally fine with critical judgements about myself and I even welcome them. I'd just like to reiterate your point and say it would be for the best if we refrain from adding any superfluous snark or condescension to our messages. It's okay if you dislike someone or how they do things, but we're all human and we all deserve at least a minimum amount of respect.

I tend to find these things more amusing than anything else, but the amount of dead horse beating that's going on re Surly and Loopy is banal and unessecary.
If you have a negative opinion of either of these ladies, it's already been expressed. Move the fuck on.
If you suddenly think of a brand new witty and sparkling insult, put in your livejournal and spare the rest of us the tedium of your 'wit'.
Hear, hear.
 

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