The Thread for Random Single Confessions Part ... I don't know what Part

Dimensions Magazine

Help Support Dimensions Magazine:

1love_emily

COLLEGE
Joined
Dec 5, 2010
Messages
1,124
Location
,
I'm not single, but this is a confession.

My first serious boyfriend, Derek, introduced me to this site when I was a near-suicidal teenager. I felt like I could never be loved, yet Derek "loved" me and introduced me to this world of self love, acceptance, confidence, and experience.

Derek broke up with me and it damn near broke me. I had become that girl who relied on the affection of a boy to feel like myself. It took time and plenty of bad dates (and two weeks of dating a racist redneck) before I realized what I needed and wanted. And I found exactly that in my current boyfriend, Michael.

With Michael, I am happy. I am content. I like myself, I like my life, I like everything.

But here's the confession: There's a part of me that wants to dig up the skeletons and talk to Derek and see how he's doing and make sure he's okay. I wanted to pick up everything and move to be with him, and then just a few months later we broke up. I was convinced we'd be together forever, and we broke up. Is it bad/wrong/weird that I want to check in on him? We haven't talked or made any communication attempts since he broke up with me.
 

EMH1701

Well-Known Member
Joined
Dec 1, 2010
Messages
1,567
Location
,
I'm getting really tired of dealing with jerks, a------s, and b-----s. It feels like I have been constantly surrounded by people of that type in my life, pretty much since elementary school onward. Why am I not allowed to have a job where the people are happy and treat each other decently? I wish I could just get off this planet and go find another one where people are actually decent to each other.
 

BigBeautifulMe

That was a heart.
Joined
Oct 4, 2006
Messages
7,419
Location
,
I'm not single, but this is a confession.

My first serious boyfriend, Derek, introduced me to this site when I was a near-suicidal teenager. I felt like I could never be loved, yet Derek "loved" me and introduced me to this world of self love, acceptance, confidence, and experience.

Derek broke up with me and it damn near broke me. I had become that girl who relied on the affection of a boy to feel like myself. It took time and plenty of bad dates (and two weeks of dating a racist redneck) before I realized what I needed and wanted. And I found exactly that in my current boyfriend, Michael.

With Michael, I am happy. I am content. I like myself, I like my life, I like everything.

But here's the confession: There's a part of me that wants to dig up the skeletons and talk to Derek and see how he's doing and make sure he's okay. I wanted to pick up everything and move to be with him, and then just a few months later we broke up. I was convinced we'd be together forever, and we broke up. Is it bad/wrong/weird that I want to check in on him? We haven't talked or made any communication attempts since he broke up with me.
I think it's pretty normal, sweetie, when something ends really suddenly, you aren't expecting it, and you expected to be with that person forever/had long-term plans with them/didn't see it coming AT ALL. That happened to me, too, in my early twenties, and it took me quite a while to get over him. Longer than our actual relationship lasted, actually. =/ But it did finally happen, and now I'm very happy and married to someone else. I only very rarely (not even once a year) think of him. I still, on the rare occasions I do think of him, repress an urge to want to shake him and say WHAT THE HELL WAS WRONG WITH YOU, but it's getting less and less frequent and less strong.

It gets better. Hang in there. And don't contact him - I know it's tempting when you feel you didn't get closure, but try to avoid it.
 

x0emnem0x

Words.
Joined
Oct 29, 2008
Messages
2,407
Location
Midwest
Is it bad/wrong/weird that I want to check in on him? We haven't talked or made any communication attempts since he broke up with me.
It is not at all weird. I was the same about my ex, John. But every time I tried to talk to him now, he would just reply with a text saying "NO" or something stupid and immature. It's been a year now since we broke up... He knows how caring I am but sometimes that isn't enough for people. Maybe that wouldn't be the same about your ex, but I don't think you should contact him. You've moved on with your life and I think he's probably moved on with his. But if it's really eating at you to know how he is, the you gotta do what you gotta do. But I say not to, because it could potentially bring up bad feelings or some sort of negativity brought back up from you towards him for the breakup. Just bad feelings you don't mean to have, because that happens a lot. Our emotions can always be overwhelming even when we don't think they will be. I still sometimes try to contact my ex, mostly when I am drunk, he still doesn't talk to me - but it is what it is. I'm still moving on even though he was my first serious relationship and the guy who took my virginity, told me he would marry me and told me I was the first person he ever felt like he didn't have to worry about if he had kids with me... I never thought someone like that would treat me so badly after a break up, considering how kind and genuine I find myself to be, and he knows me to be, but the angels in your life sometimes turn out to be the devil in sheep's clothing.
 

EMH1701

Well-Known Member
Joined
Dec 1, 2010
Messages
1,567
Location
,
I basically hate my coworker. He screws up everything he touches or leaves things undone. The management appears to be in no hurry to get rid of him anytime soon, despite his poor performance. And guess who is the one who has to clean up after him constantly? Me. Yep.

The guy has issues big time. He should not be in the job he is. I am not the only one who has noticed this, yet for some reason, he is still there. I think he is being protected by someone for some bizarre reason. Anyone else who did what he did would be gone.
 

Green Eyed Fairy

Keeps on dancing
Joined
Sep 18, 2006
Messages
18,425
Location
In Your Head
It is not at all weird. I was the same about my ex, John. But every time I tried to talk to him now, he would just reply with a text saying "NO" or something stupid and immature. It's been a year now since we broke up... He knows how caring I am but sometimes that isn't enough for people. Maybe that wouldn't be the same about your ex, but I don't think you should contact him. You've moved on with your life and I think he's probably moved on with his. But if it's really eating at you to know how he is, the you gotta do what you gotta do. But I say not to, because it could potentially bring up bad feelings or some sort of negativity brought back up from you towards him for the breakup. Just bad feelings you don't mean to have, because that happens a lot. Our emotions can always be overwhelming even when we don't think they will be. I still sometimes try to contact my ex, mostly when I am drunk, he still doesn't talk to me - but it is what it is. I'm still moving on even though he was my first serious relationship and the guy who took my virginity, told me he would marry me and told me I was the first person he ever felt like he didn't have to worry about if he had kids with me... I never thought someone like that would treat me so badly after a break up, considering how kind and genuine I find myself to be, and he knows me to be, but the angels in your life sometimes turn out to be the devil in sheep's clothing.
That was a really hard part of a past break up for me....if he meant all those things he said...when why treat me that way?
And if he didn't mean what he said...why bother? He had me without all that...
I certainly understand your confusion

@Emily- if it was someone you had strong feelings about, then no, I don't think it's odd at all to think about them occasionally and wonder how they are.
IMO, if you must, perhaps a quick email to just say hi and inquire how he is? Just be careful how you word it because you don't want it to potentially be blown out of proportion - particularly if he has been seeing someone new.
Personally though, if I KNEW he had another romantic interest in his life, then I wouldn't even bother with the hello.
Just my 2 cents
 

Sweet Tooth

Deep. W i d e.
Joined
Nov 4, 2005
Messages
1,277
Location
,
I'm not single, but this is a confession.

My first serious boyfriend, Derek, introduced me to this site when I was a near-suicidal teenager. I felt like I could never be loved, yet Derek "loved" me and introduced me to this world of self love, acceptance, confidence, and experience.

Derek broke up with me and it damn near broke me. I had become that girl who relied on the affection of a boy to feel like myself. It took time and plenty of bad dates (and two weeks of dating a racist redneck) before I realized what I needed and wanted. And I found exactly that in my current boyfriend, Michael.

With Michael, I am happy. I am content. I like myself, I like my life, I like everything.

But here's the confession: There's a part of me that wants to dig up the skeletons and talk to Derek and see how he's doing and make sure he's okay. I wanted to pick up everything and move to be with him, and then just a few months later we broke up. I was convinced we'd be together forever, and we broke up. Is it bad/wrong/weird that I want to check in on him? We haven't talked or made any communication attempts since he broke up with me.
As someone very happily recoupled with an ex, I know not all reconnections are bad. BUT.... I have plenty of exes that I missed badly for a time and now wouldn't want them coming anywhere near me. Maybe the difference is how you think of him when you're happy with your life versus lonely or needing affirmation. I have one that I think of quite fondly. Wouldn't want him back, but it would be nice to know he's okay. Some, I missed when I just longed for what I had once upon a time.
 

HottiMegan

I'm a fat geek!
In Remembrance
Joined
Dec 14, 2005
Messages
9,948
Location
,
I'm starting to wonder if i have something really wrong with my hips. The pain in them is becoming nearly constant. :( If i go to my doctor, i know what he'll say.. everything relates back to my weight.
 

supersizebbw

Who run the world..Girls!
Joined
Aug 31, 2009
Messages
557
Location
,
Dear loved ones who I thought were my friends....why did you invite me to the barbecue and then act all passive aggressive simply because i was late?

Why did you call me beforehand about 10 times asking me to bring speakers, music, asking me to confirm what food i was bringing (i guess my presence was not enough), and still expect me to buy a birthday present....do i look like some kind of a service provider? or a mobile cash machine?

Please do me the courtesy of taking me off your guest list next time your having a do.....i'm done with all the BS, you've taken me for granted for way too long, i am sooo done!:mad:
 

x0emnem0x

Words.
Joined
Oct 29, 2008
Messages
2,407
Location
Midwest
I've never had a lesbian experience and I really really want to have one.
I'm the same. I like guys but I really appreciate females too, and I'm attracted to some. I'm sure I'm not a lesbian, I like men too much, but I wouldn't mind experimenting LOL.
 

spiritangel

AmandaClause
Joined
Mar 1, 2010
Messages
9,407
Location
,
IC It kind of irritates me so many people have been like I wish I had a 40th like yours, because when all is said and done I put the effort in and paid for it all myself no one did me any special favours

I kept my eye out on the Deal sites for things I was interested in, even got my birthday dinner that way to (even though 2 people pulled out at the last min)

If I had not put the effort in my 40th would have ended up like all my other milestone birthdays non existant or doing what others wanted me to.

BTW NOt saying it was not awesome just that It was that way cause I made sure it was.
 

HottiMegan

I'm a fat geek!
In Remembrance
Joined
Dec 14, 2005
Messages
9,948
Location
,
IC It kind of irritates me so many people have been like I wish I had a 40th like yours, because when all is said and done I put the effort in and paid for it all myself no one did me any special favours

I kept my eye out on the Deal sites for things I was interested in, even got my birthday dinner that way to (even though 2 people pulled out at the last min)

If I had not put the effort in my 40th would have ended up like all my other milestone birthdays non existant or doing what others wanted me to.

BTW NOt saying it was not awesome just that It was that way cause I made sure it was.
I am glad it was awesome and full of memories for you. If i didn't put the effort in for all my birthdays, there'd never be cake or a special meal. I'm lucky to get a card, so i know what you mean.
 

CastingPearls

Go Big Or Go Home
In Remembrance
Joined
Apr 11, 2010
Messages
15,157
Location
,
IC It kind of irritates me so many people have been like I wish I had a 40th like yours, because when all is said and done I put the effort in and paid for it all myself no one did me any special favours

I kept my eye out on the Deal sites for things I was interested in, even got my birthday dinner that way to (even though 2 people pulled out at the last min)

If I had not put the effort in my 40th would have ended up like all my other milestone birthdays non existant or doing what others wanted me to.

BTW NOt saying it was not awesome just that It was that way cause I made sure it was.
I'm glad you took the bull by the horns and made it a great day.

Had I been anywhere near Oz, I would've shared it with you.
 

CastingPearls

Go Big Or Go Home
In Remembrance
Joined
Apr 11, 2010
Messages
15,157
Location
,
I'm starting to wonder if i have something really wrong with my hips. The pain in them is becoming nearly constant. :( If i go to my doctor, i know what he'll say.. everything relates back to my weight.
How about trying some glucosamine chondroitin supplements?
 
2
Top