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LovelyLiz

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Just to clarify...since "virgin" means different things to different people, and "sex" does too...what qualifies as losing your virginity for this thread?

Does oral sex count? handjob/fingering? any kind of orgasm brought on by another person? only vaginal intercourse?

I used to only think of "sex" as penis-->vagina intercourse, but then a friend of mine who is a lesbian pointed out that under that definition she and many of her friends remain technical virgins since some of them have not had (and don't intend to have) that type of intercourse, even though they do all kinds of various sexual activities.

So sometimes "virgin talk" gets confusing to me, because someone could blow half the men in the city and a lot of people might still consider him/her a virgin if s/he hasn't had sexual intercourse. Weird.

Would you mind clarifying what you mean by "virgin"? Thanks :) Interesting idea for a thread!
 

Your Plump Princess

Just dancing with shadows
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Sep 3, 2008
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Ask me!,
I'd Say I'm a Half Virgin?
I've Never Been Touched, But I've Given Pleasure To Others?

So Maybe I'm More than Half a Virgin? I don't know, These Discussions can be Tricky!




Also,
As for just "Going and Losing it cause yer Womanz gonna wantchu experiencd"

Not all Women Are Into That.
Just Like Not All Men Want Really "Trained" Women.
 

liz (di-va)

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Maybe demi-vierge needs to be revived.

This is a great thread. Stand up and be counted!

I was a virgin until spectacularly late and life and can tell you there are wayyyyyyy more virgins out there than people think or would even speak up here. No shame.
 

Inhibited

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Please don't have sex just for the sack of having sex, i really wish i had waited........... I'm not really bothered by someone who has a lack of experience as I'am as well, but i do like someone who isn't reluctant to get in there and have a go...
 

qwertyman173

Andy from UK
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Virgin here too. It is good to see that others are in the same position, and have the same views as me :)
 

Ruffie

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My husband and I were each others first. Its true we learned together what rings each others respective bells, and learning was fun. I am not against pre marital sex, but for both of us it was important to find someone we truly trusted before we fully gave of ourselves. Sometimes I wonder what I missed out on-am I any good is he and so on. When bemusing it with friends they said nope there are a few guys who really know what they are doing but mostly one is like the other and that they envied what I had. After 24 years the bells still ring, just not as often as they used to LOL
 

rg770Ibanez

goochmaster
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Thanks again for all the awesome replies :)
Merry Christmas!
And Fluffy, we should hang out some time. I live pretty close to you I think lol.
 

Tracii

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I think its great that you have waited.I would think the right girl would feel really good about you being a virgin.It would be great if you both were when that time came.
No shame in being a virgin IMO.
 

fffff

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My boyfriend will be 28 next week and he is a virgin. Although he has not had sex for religious reasons, knowing that he isn't just another guy out there looking for sex was a major reason why I felt comfortable enough to trust him and build a relationship.

I've had sex two times in my life. Hated it. I can honestly say that if I died at 110 without ever having sex again I would be really ok with that.
 

Forgotten_Futures

The *other* Holy Trinity
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I'm two years older than you kicko.

Granted, I might be losing mine very soon, BUT I still have it at 22.

I like to kiss (Despite my lack of ability), and I love to cuddle. But I've never gone the whole way.
I'm told I kiss well. This is good for self confidence, no?

I love cuddling.

And perhaps it's the lack of having had it that makes me this way, but I honestly prefer the kind of run-of-the-mill intimacy two friends can engage in shamelessly to actual sex.
 

Aust99

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I don't think you should rush into it to 'get it over with and get some experience'... I think you should wait until your with someone you trust and really want to be with... it's so much better then... and the right girl won't mind at all that your a virgin... So have fun finding her:happy:
 

Shosh

Susannah
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My boyfriend will be 28 next week and he is a virgin. Although he has not had sex for religious reasons, knowing that he isn't just another guy out there looking for sex was a major reason why I felt comfortable enough to trust him and build a relationship.

I've had sex two times in my life. Hated it. I can honestly say that if I died at 110 without ever having sex again I would be really ok with that.
I think having pleasurable sex and intimacy takes a caring and loving parter who is willing to be responsive to your needs.

Don't give up on making love just yet. It gets better. I promise.;)
 

Flutterby68

My Cups Runneth Over
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I'm on the other side of the fence. I don't think there is anything laudable or especially wonderful about remaining a virgin past the age of ... oh, 21 or so. And even that is relatively late. I don't advocate setting up shop with a "take a number" waiting room, but preserving the virginity is just.... silly and an archaic leftover from a patriarchal society IMO. At least when it's done with the "I'm better than you because I'm a virgin" mentality or the "I'm saving myself for marriage" thing.

For one thing, I would NEVER EVER consider MARRYING someone, spending the rest of my life with that person, unless we were sexually compatible. And that is something it is important to find out BEFORE the vows are spoken. (I'm not going to really get into the bit about not having sex for religious reasons. Suffice it to say that I am of the opinion that religious reasons for doing (or not doing) ANYTHING is ridiculous because I find religion itself to be ridiculous. But I also understand that certain behavior is prohibited in the minds of religious people, and that's their choice.)

But I DO worry about those who remain virgins into their twenties and later. I'm sure some are due to lack of opportunity. Others due to fear. But please keep in mind that if you want yourself and your eventual partner to both be virgins when you finally do it together, you may be building up a fantasy in your mind that is far from realistic. For a female, losing your virginity HURTS unless you're very physically active (gymnasts, riding horseback, etc.) - which I doubt that people of size are. In addition, it may sound romantic to find someone to learn with rather than learn from.... but I think it's better that one partner has experience. Then there is the possibility of reassurance that certain things are normal, the ability to soothe fears and anxieties, and most importantly... the ability to ensure that the virgin has a pleasurable experience rather than a nightmare. Take it from one who has been there.

So..if you want to remain a virgin for whatever reason, please AT LEAST be sure it's for a good reason.
 

Weirdo890

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I'm on the other side of the fence. I don't think there is anything laudable or especially wonderful about remaining a virgin past the age of ... oh, 21 or so. And even that is relatively late. I don't advocate setting up shop with a "take a number" waiting room, but preserving the virginity is just.... silly and an archaic leftover from a patriarchal society IMO. At least when it's done with the "I'm better than you because I'm a virgin" mentality or the "I'm saving myself for marriage" thing.

For one thing, I would NEVER EVER consider MARRYING someone, spending the rest of my life with that person, unless we were sexually compatible. And that is something it is important to find out BEFORE the vows are spoken. (I'm not going to really get into the bit about not having sex for religious reasons. Suffice it to say that I am of the opinion that religious reasons for doing (or not doing) ANYTHING is ridiculous because I find religion itself to be ridiculous. But I also understand that certain behavior is prohibited in the minds of religious people, and that's their choice.)

But I DO worry about those who remain virgins into their twenties and later. I'm sure some are due to lack of opportunity. Others due to fear. But please keep in mind that if you want yourself and your eventual partner to both be virgins when you finally do it together, you may be building up a fantasy in your mind that is far from realistic. For a female, losing your virginity HURTS unless you're very physically active (gymnasts, riding horseback, etc.) - which I doubt that people of size are. In addition, it may sound romantic to find someone to learn with rather than learn from.... but I think it's better that one partner has experience. Then there is the possibility of reassurance that certain things are normal, the ability to soothe fears and anxieties, and most importantly... the ability to ensure that the virgin has a pleasurable experience rather than a nightmare. Take it from one who has been there.

So..if you want to remain a virgin for whatever reason, please AT LEAST be sure it's for a good reason.
Very good argument for the other side of the issue, but what do you consider to be a GOOD reason for staying a virgin? Just for clarity.

Either than that, I like your argument. Both sides have strong arguments. I guess in the end it's all up to the person in question. It's a personal choice.
 

Saoirse

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I'm on the other side of the fence. I don't think there is anything laudable or especially wonderful about remaining a virgin past the age of ... oh, 21 or so. And even that is relatively late. I don't advocate setting up shop with a "take a number" waiting room, but preserving the virginity is just.... silly and an archaic leftover from a patriarchal society IMO. At least when it's done with the "I'm better than you because I'm a virgin" mentality or the "I'm saving myself for marriage" thing.

For one thing, I would NEVER EVER consider MARRYING someone, spending the rest of my life with that person, unless we were sexually compatible. And that is something it is important to find out BEFORE the vows are spoken. (I'm not going to really get into the bit about not having sex for religious reasons. Suffice it to say that I am of the opinion that religious reasons for doing (or not doing) ANYTHING is ridiculous because I find religion itself to be ridiculous. But I also understand that certain behavior is prohibited in the minds of religious people, and that's their choice.)

But I DO worry about those who remain virgins into their twenties and later. I'm sure some are due to lack of opportunity. Others due to fear. But please keep in mind that if you want yourself and your eventual partner to both be virgins when you finally do it together, you may be building up a fantasy in your mind that is far from realistic. For a female, losing your virginity HURTS unless you're very physically active (gymnasts, riding horseback, etc.) - which I doubt that people of size are. In addition, it may sound romantic to find someone to learn with rather than learn from.... but I think it's better that one partner has experience. Then there is the possibility of reassurance that certain things are normal, the ability to soothe fears and anxieties, and most importantly... the ability to ensure that the virgin has a pleasurable experience rather than a nightmare. Take it from one who has been there.

So..if you want to remain a virgin for whatever reason, please AT LEAST be sure it's for a good reason.
Im pretty much with you on this.
 

Keb

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So..if you want to remain a virgin for whatever reason, please AT LEAST be sure it's for a good reason.
You've got some good and reasonable arguments, so I'd like to give you my reasons.

First of all, my feelings about abortion as a birth control method come into this. While I believe abortion is acceptable in self-defence and should therefore not be outlawed, I don't believe that it's ethical to have abortion in anything but the most extreme circumstances. Since no other birth control method is capable of preventing pregnancy 100% of the time, I feel my only responsible choice is to be abstinent until I'm at least mostly prepared to welcome a child into my life.

I also believe that children fare best in most cases when raised by married parents, so I don't believe I'll be ready to welcome children into my life until I'm married. That means, for me at least, sex is out until I'm married. It comes down to responsibility and the life that I want to give my children and my future husband.

All that is really aside from my religious beliefs--but I believe that the underlying logic of religious prohibitions against sex outside of marriage is to protect both children and married couples. I think that scientific research into relationships backs up my positions as well, so I'm fairly confident in my choices.

I know life isn't perfect and that stuff happens, but I'm not going to take actions that I believe would hurt my future family for momentary pleasures in the present anymore than I would go deeply into debt for a wild and wonderful shopping spree today.

That doesn't mean I don't want sex...I actually think I have a pretty high sex drive; I'm a very physical, affectionate person, and I'm quite impatient for the right guy to come into my life. He will have to be someone who understands how very highly I value the power of sex, however. To me, it is a sacred part of the bond of marriage. I think a lot of people assume that a virgin of my age must dislike sex or have really negative feelings about it, and for me, that's not the case. I just happen to think it's so important that it deserves the most serious of commitments first.

When I do have sex, I want to be able to completely surrender to the experience. I just can't see myself doing that before I'm married.
 

PhatChk

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You can probably tell by looking at me...Been told that before -_-. I have had bf before but it has never gone further than making out.
 

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