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Tad

Dimensions' loiterer
Joined
Sep 29, 2005
Messages
13,315
Location
The great white north, eh?
Been a bit of a week, in ways from the trivial to possibly less so.

At the trivial level, I'm going on some training for work later in October, four nights away in a suburb of Toronto. The classes will eat up most of each day, but I was looking forward doing some shopping down there, possibly making my way into Toronto proper to meet up with some people for dinner, and maybe an evening of eating way too much. Now I found out that my boss and some other people from my new department are also going to it, and it is right beside my company's Mississauga office where a couple of more people in our group are, so I'm pretty sure I'm going to have to do a fair bit of work socializing after the classes are done. I was just looking forward to a little alone time, sigh.

That pettiness out of the way, my Father's cancer has been getting much better in most areas, but seems to have spread into his spinal column. Doctor thinks they can deal with that with a focused round of radiation therapy, but that will a) put a pause on the chemotherapy that has been helping with the rest of it, and b) generally suck massively for him. From what I understand, miserable as chemo can be, radiation is worse.

And finally I had an optometrist appointment this week, and he found that I have some glaucoma starting in one eye. Hopefully can be stopped or extremely slowed down with treatment to lower the pressure in my eyes (drops, and if they don't work surgery). Apparently I've lost a lot of the upper peripheral vision in one eye, and there is the risk of more loss, although hopefully that can be stopped or slowed down. Probably an unnoticeable loss of quality of life, but has the potential to be much worse. The discovery has left me feeling rather old, all told.

Lots of people are dealing with far, far, worse every day, and life is generally very good. I'm just feeling a bit down from things all the same.
 

LizzieJones

Well-Known Member
Joined
Sep 19, 2018
Messages
386
Location
Canada
Realized I was one sidedly trying to hold up a friendship.
I seemed to be doing that myself for the last 10 days. Finally decided tonight it's time to let him go.

I'll miss him for sure but I don't think it's mutual on his end.

A girl can tell these things.
 

rellis10

tuh-maw-tow
Joined
May 6, 2010
Messages
3,806
Location
, Male
I don't know what to say anymore, I really don't. I tried so much to reassure, to put her mind at ease. I don't know what I said in an admission that my mental state is pretty broken right now. I just don't know how I keep causing pain.

I never wanted to hurt, I never even wanted to become so distant, but I had to because I can't let go of something that ended years ago otherwise.

I just want her to take me off whatever pedestal I'm on. Keep all the memories you want but forget about who I am now and find happiness.
 

Funtastic curves

Well-Known Member
Joined
Sep 16, 2018
Messages
848
Location
Home
Been a bit of a week, in ways from the trivial to possibly less so.

At the trivial level, I'm going on some training for work later in October, four nights away in a suburb of Toronto. The classes will eat up most of each day, but I was looking forward doing some shopping down there, possibly making my way into Toronto proper to meet up with some people for dinner, and maybe an evening of eating way too much. Now I found out that my boss and some other people from my new department are also going to it, and it is right beside my company's Mississauga office where a couple of more people in our group are, so I'm pretty sure I'm going to have to do a fair bit of work socializing after the classes are done. I was just looking forward to a little alone time, sigh.

That pettiness out of the way, my Father's cancer has been getting much better in most areas, but seems to have spread into his spinal column. Doctor thinks they can deal with that with a focused round of radiation therapy, but that will a) put a pause on the chemotherapy that has been helping with the rest of it, and b) generally suck massively for him. From what I understand, miserable as chemo can be, radiation is worse.

And finally I had an optometrist appointment this week, and he found that I have some glaucoma starting in one eye. Hopefully can be stopped or extremely slowed down with treatment to lower the pressure in my eyes (drops, and if they don't work surgery). Apparently I've lost a lot of the upper peripheral vision in one eye, and there is the risk of more loss, although hopefully that can be stopped or slowed down. Probably an unnoticeable loss of quality of life, but has the potential to be much worse. The discovery has left me feeling rather old, all told.

Lots of people are dealing with far, far, worse every day, and life is generally very good. I'm just feeling a bit down from things all the same.
I just want to hug you and take all your pain away if not just for a little while.
 
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agouderia

Library Girl
Staff member
Library Mod
Joined
Jun 21, 2008
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,
Tad - I feel for you regarding the optometrist.
As if a life of being near-sighted isn't bad enough - this comes as a really nasty after-dish.
My own last optometrist appointments' showed the same tendency (though no effects yet) - not funny at all.
Sincerely hope the treatment works well for you.
 

loopytheone

Staff member
Administrator
Global Moderator
Joined
Dec 14, 2012
Messages
4,421
Location
England
I have glaucoma in my family, with my great-grandma and my aunt having it. It can usually be controlled okay with drops when caught early so hopefully everything will be okay for you both.
 

lille

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Joined
Feb 21, 2011
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,
I am exhausted and completely emotionally drained. After a long illness and has several recent declines my husband's grandfather died last night. My aunt died less than 1 month ago. Just had a long day at work and now I am going to my in-laws to help pick out pictures for the funeral. It would be nice if the world could just stop and give me a break for a little while.
 

Dr. Feelgood

intellectual nerd
Joined
Dec 20, 2006
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4,678
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,
I am exhausted and completely emotionally drained. After a long illness and has several recent declines my husband's grandfather died last night. My aunt died less than 1 month ago. Just had a long day at work and now I am going to my in-laws to help pick out pictures for the funeral. It would be nice if the world could just stop and give me a break for a little while.
I know that feeling. Sometimes it helps me to recall this poem of Piet Hein's:

Sometimes, worn out with toil and endeavor,
I wish I could sleep forever and ever.
But then this reflection my longing allays:
I shall be doing it, one of these days.
 

rellis10

tuh-maw-tow
Joined
May 6, 2010
Messages
3,806
Location
, Male
The date I was expecting to have last night didn't happen after all. A reason would be a good thing, but that hasn't happened either.
 

Tad

Dimensions' loiterer
Joined
Sep 29, 2005
Messages
13,315
Location
The great white north, eh?
I am exhausted and completely emotionally drained. After a long illness and has several recent declines my husband's grandfather died last night. My aunt died less than 1 month ago. Just had a long day at work and now I am going to my in-laws to help pick out pictures for the funeral. It would be nice if the world could just stop and give me a break for a little while.
That sounds so emotionally draining. I hope you get a chance to re-charge some soon.
 

wrenchboy

Well-Known Member
Joined
Jun 5, 2013
Messages
810
Location
somewhere on the road
I guess this is almost every day. So does it still count?
I am an over the road truck driver and I love my job.
One of my biggest frustrations is when I need to change lanes sometimes I have to be rude and over aggressive because hardly nobody will let me in. I end up cutting people off and making people angry. I get it. Who wants a big slow moving truck in front? Hey, we have a job to do under federally mandated rules. So we need to get where we need to go too. Next time you complain about truck drivers remember how you get nearly everything you own. From your cellphone to your car to your food to the supplies that built your home. It was transported by a truck.
So please, let us in and we will get out of your way as quickly as we can.
 

wrenchboy

Well-Known Member
Joined
Jun 5, 2013
Messages
810
Location
somewhere on the road
Oh, and I personally apologize for the rude truck drivers that follow way too close to a car trying to intimidate them into going faster or moving out of their way. It is extremely dangerous. They are not professionals and should not be in command of that truck .
 

Tad

Dimensions' loiterer
Joined
Sep 29, 2005
Messages
13,315
Location
The great white north, eh?
When my son was born, I got home about 4:30 in the morning, and I just had to tell someone. So I logged onto the then Dimensions chat room, and someone I knew was in, and I told her.

The chat room is long gone, but again I'm in need of telling someone and this time it is 11pm.

My father passed away a little while ago. We are waiting for the cremeation services to come and pick up his body. It just feels incredibly surreal, like he is away and we'll be telling him this story next week.

Today he was not responsive, but last night he was still aware enough to greet visitors. Tuesday night he was still getting around with a walker and had dinner with guests. Eight months ago he and my Mom took a three week road trip, driving the whole way. Fuck cancer.

PS the wintery weather had broken today in favor of rain. Pathetic Fallacy always did seem to follow him around.
 
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