Preference VS fetish.

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SocialbFly

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*sigh*

Pours gasoline on himself and walks into towering inferno...

The library is pretty clearly marked. I know I'm not trying to offend anyone personally when I write stuff, but I also am not naive enough to think that I can know everyone situation. I can understand that people could be offended by stories that insult fat women, especially where this is seen as their safe haven from that sort of bs in real life.

I've been on this site in some form or another for 10 years, so this has been my safe haven too. Yeah, I can see the strange dichotomy between being a place of size acceptance and being a place where I can post wg fiction, sure. Historically, though that is what it's been.

If putting up a disclaimer about the library will help solve the problem of people feeling insulted/angry, I'm ok with that. If people want to push it out, though, I feel that they're also trying to push me out of a community that I've been a part of for years. I hope you can understand where that might make some of us feel like we have to be on the defensive.

I don't have all the answers, as I can see the other side of the fence too. I thought having them partitioned off was enough, but if not maybe there can be an open dialogue about what can be done without asking one side or the other to secede from the union.

Sits in a corner, waiting to get lynched...
i just have a question....ten years...74 posts? Wow, you HAVE made a positive impact on the boards. Cool. Lynched...you just saw a cluster fuck and decided to participate, the only lynching was self.
 

James

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...Instead of attacking valuable members of the community, maybe we should all focus our energy on people outside of it who really do hate us.
This is the bottom line. We've got differences in of perspective in this community but if we want to collectively get somewhere with regards to that bottom line, some mutual compromise is going to be a necessary component of that first.

Here's a quote from a bright lady called Marion Young who, I think, understands this pretty well.
"Social Justice,…requires not the melting away of differences, but institutions that promote reproduction of and respect for group differences without oppression”

If we wish to demand respect for our differences to the mainstream norm, we've got to start with looking at ourselves and how to foster respect for our own internal differences...
 

Wild Zero

ǝןʇıʇ ɹǝsn
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Aren't the titles "Erotic Weight Gain" and "Unique Interests" with little descriptions of what type of story that particular sub forum has in it kind of it's own discliamer? If you don't want to read fiction stories about erotic weight gain and there's a section of the site titled that way.. wouldn't it make sense to just ignore it?
Not to mention the "Extreme Special Interests" section of the Library is (at least in my view of the index) 35 sections down from the top. And if you're terrified at the prospect of even accidentally scrolling down 30 odd threads, accidentally clicking on a story labelled with extreme themes and accidentally reading an offensive passage you can easily click "Discussion" at the top of the page and view only the discussion boards.

Again, I don't see how "fat hate" or "fat phobia" in erotic stories intended to hit the humiliation fantasy switch are spread across the forums.

The fetishists/fantasizers who actively participate in those boards aren't running around posting their fantasies in inappropriate boards. The only times I've seen posters scrawling fantasies across the entire board its been from someone with about 10 posts to their name, most of them interchangeable requests pertaining to their fantasy.

They're either trolls or socially inept and those two groups are a fact of life for any web community. Why should the mods slap a warning label on or sweep respectful, engaged community members out of view because of them?
 

elroycohen

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i just have a question....ten years...74 posts? Wow, you HAVE made a positive impact on the boards. Cool. Lynched...you just saw a cluster fuck and decided to participate, the only lynching was self.
So simply because of his post count you have made the decision he is a lesser member then you? If he had spent more time running up his post count with gems like "I wish I could rep you, girl, but I'm all out right now." would he make the cut then?:rolleyes::rolleyes:

You don't have to post constantly to learn things around here. In fact sometimes it's better just to observe and not rush into the discussion with a poorly thought out shot at someone.
 

SocialbFly

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In fact sometimes it's better just to observe and not rush into the discussion with a poorly thought out shot at someone.
as you have shown...the post i made may have sounded dismissive, but tell me, in 74 posts in 10 years, what does that say....7 posts a year....i just think if you want to be a critic about the boards as a whole, be a contributor...then exercise the right...you know the old addage, no vote...no say...and believe me, the multiple times i wrote, then rewrote my post to me shows it was not poorly thought out...but you dont know me and wouldnt know that....now would you?
 

LoveBHMS

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So what is most harmful to the community? What is most likely to turn away a fat woman (and let's be real, it's all about fat women and not fat men or FAs or feeders) who stumbles on here needing support and a sense of community

1. A reposting of a private comment made a year and a half ago.

2. Some fictional stories that are posted in a section of the site marked "Fiction" and tagged as to content.

3. Threads like this one whose sole purpose is throwing up tags and a turf war.

I think it's sad how many once active posters are gone because of nonsense like this. Not everyone thrives on drama, gossip, personal attacks and generally being nasty because they can.
 

Sugar

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I think that you kinda took it off track by asking why.

If you don't want in on it, don't get in on it. No one is forcing you and at a point if a mod wants to shut it down they will.

In the mean while...any thoughts on the stories and the discord between reality and fantasy that seems to clash on this forum?
Yes, exactly.
What gets me is how the three fat people who posted that they like the humilation stories have been flat out ignored in favor of directing anger at Mollycoddles, Exile, thatgirl08, and me. None of you have even bothered engaging them or asking for futher input about why they want the Library here. Nobody gave a single shred of credence to a fat person's idea of just closing the window if you come upon a story you don't like. I guess fat people are only important when they agree with you.
See above. She simply came to defend you and say stop debating something I see going nowhere. :rolleyes: I hope you are kinder to her than you've been to vast majority of fat women around here.

So what is most harmful to the community? What is most likely to turn away a fat woman (and let's be real, it's all about fat women and not fat men or FAs or feeders) who stumbles on here needing support and a sense of community

1. A reposting of a private comment made a year and a half ago.

2. Some fictional stories that are posted in a section of the site marked "Fiction" and tagged as to content.

3. Threads like this one whose sole purpose is throwing up tags and a turf war.

I think it's sad how many once active posters are gone because of nonsense like this. Not everyone thrives on drama, gossip, personal attacks and generally being nasty because they can.
Let's make sure that you have sturdy wood for you to nail yourself up on this cross you're building. I'd hate for your project to tumble over and get messy. Seriously, you just keep crying foul, but the fact is you've never addressed the whole point of using your own words. WORDS MATTER. Especially since this is a forum...based on written word.

That comment is not number one and frankly neither are you. Berna is right...you're a fly that won't go away.

This isn't some version of West Side Story. This isn't a turf war. The want/need for concerns to be heard and possibly worked on is what people are asking for...from both sides. You clouded the issue with cries of under aged family pictures, the pro ana stuff and then saying "fine close the library". C'mon get a grip. You keep twisting points and it's getting old. Get back on track or go away. This constant SHE BROKE THE RULES chant is lame. We have mods, they don't need you stomping your foot crying she's being mean to me! Stop bellowing. You're not a victim and painting yourself as one is ill advised.
 

mollycoddles

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Nah just one.....and I took a bit of what you were saying as "insulting".....and?
Should I harass you now for the next 800 posts? Hell, he didn't even say anything "insulting" to you or about you.
He disagreed with someone.....as have you for the entire 30+ page thread.
Perhaps you need to get off your own high horse?
He disagreed with someone by joking that they liked underage kids. People in this thread seem to get all up in arms about stories with underage kids, but "jokes" are okay? In any case, Santa's original comments are less obnoxious than the fact that, whenever we've objected to them, he starts crying "I was just joking!"

I mean, people here keep getting livid when the porn people say "But they're just stories! They're harmless, they're not insulting! You should lighten up!"

I've explained everything I've said, though you seem eager to misunderstand. If you didn't like it, then, hey, it was just a joke. Don't you have a sense of humor? Sheeeeesh!
 

LoveBHMS

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This isn't some version of West Side Story. This isn't a turf war. The want/need for concerns to be heard and possibly worked on is what people are asking for...from both sides. You clouded the issue with cries of under aged family pictures, the pro ana stuff and then saying "fine close the library". C'mon get a grip. You keep twisting points and it's getting old. Get back on track or go away. This constant SHE BROKE THE RULES chant is lame. We have mods, they don't need you stomping your foot crying she's being mean to me! Stop bellowing. You're not a victim and painting yourself as one is ill advised.
So pointing out somebody breaking forum rules is crying victim? I don't think so. There are rules here and you broke them, there is a report function for that reason. Any time I stick up for myself or another poster says to please quit mentioning issues that are over a year old, you spazz out on them.

I'm actually serious about closing the library. This is a turf war complete with your nasty little personal attacks. As I said like a dozen posts ago, you seem to believe that the fiction stories make your life and/or your existence on this forum more difficult. If that's the case take them down. I said this before but if there is a causal relationship between the fiction story and anyone being harassed here or IRL, just delete that whole part of the board.

Put a password on them, put a disclaimer on them, or delete them. Whatever you want. You and your pals have made this personal (it shouldn't be, it's not about me) and your ultimate goal is to have Dims be your little playground and have it cater only to you and your needs. Numerous once active posters have simply left rather than deal with this sort of nonsense. Do you care? Probably not.
 

mollycoddles

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Why are people that HATE fat women allowed here? really I just don't get it. I don't have to point fingers you know who you are. and so does everyone else Go away already you are like a fly that won't die. And untill that fly goes away people, trap the fly in a window and ignore it till it dies. Get what I'm saying.

It cant live if it has nothing to live off of.
You will have to point fingers because you know that we don't know who we are. No one coming to this site defines themselves as a "fat hater.' People are being accused of fat hatred because of the sorts of fiction they write or what they enjoy in fantasies, but they don't see themselves as fat haters and so they won't recognize themselves in your statement.
 

Observer

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The level of hyperbole is rather astonishing.

Writers and moderators were accused of "pedophilia" when that wasn't as factor - although bogus citations were used in other threads to create that impression.

Even writers have used "pornographic" as though it were the Librarey norm when in fact it isn't.

There is talk of destroying the library because there are stories are objectionable to some which sopme would like kept under lock and key (whether that would motivate them to read any of the reminder is open to question).

Post counts are used as a means of determining entitlement to post in this thread - and then there is talk about a lynch mom mentallity. I wonder why?

And now fellow community members are bering called "fat haters" because of their preferences?​

I can't predict what our Webmaster will choose to do with all this, but I will agree this has gotten to be a pretty partisan and personal discussion that needs to get back to the issues themselves.
 

BigBeautifulMe

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Observer, fellow community members are not being called fat haters because of their preference. If you re-read Bigsexy's post and still don't get it, feel free to PM me and I'll clarify for you.

So what is most harmful to the community? What is most likely to turn away a fat woman (and let's be real, it's all about fat women and not fat men or FAs or feeders) who stumbles on here needing support and a sense of community

1. A reposting of a private comment made a year and a half ago.

2. Some fictional stories that are posted in a section of the site marked "Fiction" and tagged as to content.

3. Threads like this one whose sole purpose is throwing up tags and a turf war.

I think it's sad how many once active posters are gone because of nonsense like this. Not everyone thrives on drama, gossip, personal attacks and generally being nasty because they can.
Loves, you are SERIOUSLY asking what is likely to turn away a fat woman from this site?

How about #4: hearing fat bigotry, hatred and prejudice from someone who purports to be an FA, on a site that is supposed to be safe from that kind of absolute vitriol and shit? Yes, it's against the rules to repost people's PMs, including yours, but you know what? What you said is NEVER going to die, because you not only insulted AM and me, you insulted EVERY fat woman on this board in a despicable way. It matters not that it was in a PM - the fact that you would even THINK what you said, let alone find it funny, speaks volumes. As does the fact that you are still mincing around here like you did absolutely nothing wrong when you clearly did.
 

home

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You are a big person. You have friends and family that accept you as BIG!!! Why would you want to deal with or either BOTHER WITH, someone who couldn't accept you??? Basically you would say: "Fuck you!! Punch me in the stomach!!! And then I'll punch you. And if you don't have the guts to punch me in the stomach and would rather spew your hate at me through words. Go away!!! GO somewhere, shrivel up on you're own inner hatred and FUCK OFF!!! Or have the bravery to come up to me. Punch me and then I'll punch you!!!"

So, if you have friends and family who accept you??? WHy would you even bother to be around those who didn't. You would just avoid them. Later. Nyah, nyah. I'm a pretty smart, "cookie dough", aren't I???!!!??? Little Buffyism in there. Buffy talking to Angel. Later.
 

TraciJo67

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And now fellow community members are bering called "fat haters" because of their preferences?[/INDENT]
No, some community members are being called fat haters because they are, in fact, fat haters.

Others are being called fat haters because they write stories that clearly are fat hating at their core, and then they post them here at Dims.

Nobody is being called a fat hater because of a preference. I'd really like to see you explain this one, Observer.

Finally, I don't know what Conrad will do with this mess, either. I have a suggestion, though. How about a poll, allowing people to respond anonymously, ASKING if certain content in the library should be locked or removed?
 

katorade

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What's even funnier is that I had absolutely NO clue what the hell anyone was talking about until very late last night when I took the opportunity to ask what exactly I was being accused of personally attacking someone with.

Getting really tired of the blame being displaced in this thread. How about addressing people that you actually ask questions to? LoveBHMS, you asked me how I'd feel if my private conversations were posted here. I answered. Apparently that answer wasn't good enough, or more likely, you couldn't use it as fuel for your self-lit pyre fire, so you completely ignored it and kept trucking on about how victimized you've been.:rolleyes: The only person that you stabbed in the back is yourself. Yes, the oooonly person that's had such tactics used against them in the history of the world is you.

Nobody's victimizing you. Nobody wants the library closed. Nobody wants to commit board genocide. Nobody has a secret agenda to sneakily raise a fat female hierarchy. Stop ignoring things that people have been telling you for the past 20 pages and the past WEEK.
 

Miss Vickie

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The level of hyperbole is rather astonishing.
Not as astonishing as the quasi-martyrdom of saying that people are trying to close the library. This despite the fact that we've said, oh, a jillion times or more that we DON'T want to close the library. DramaQueen, much? If the humiliation stories are really such a teensy weensy part of the library, then what's the big deal with either removing them or making them password protected and make it so they don't show up when people log in? It still leaves a huge percentage of stories for people to enjoy.

Writers and moderators were accused of "pedophilia" when that wasn't as factor - although bogus citations were used in other threads to create that impression.
When one writes a sexually explicit story about minors, that's pedophilia. Sure, no pictures are allowed, other than those which are created in the writer's mind. Doesn't matter whether it's erotica or pictures, sexualizing children is WRONG. Most of us (astonishingly not ALL of us) think that pedophilia is abhorrent and has no place on this site, let alone in decent (of even indecent!) company.

There is talk of destroying the library because there are stories are objectionable to some which sopme would like kept under lock and key (whether that would motivate them to read any of the reminder is open to question).
Again with the library destruction talk. The only person talking about destroying the library is LovesBHMS. Not anyone else. This straw man thing is getting really old, really fast.

Post counts are used as a means of determining entitlement to post in this thread - and then there is talk about a lynch mom mentallity. I wonder why?
First of all, it's lynch MOB. Not MOM. See the difference? (Your Freudian slip is showing, Observer... ;)).

Secondly, when people almost NEVER post, and then only post to stir shit in a contentious thread, then yeah, I'll question their motives. That's not a lynch mob -- and I think the person who makes such shit stirring comments should be able to defend themselves without playing the victim card. It doesn't make anyone better if they are a regular contributor here; however it does bring into sharp focus a person's intentions vis a vis Dimensions' future when they almost never post except to rag on the people who DO try to make Dimensions the very best it can be.

And now fellow community members are bering called "fat haters" because of their preferences?
Nooooo, they're called fat haters because they engage in fat hating behavior and verbiage. If a troll came in here an called us "fat fucking pigs" you'd call them a troll and a fat hater and kick their ass to the curb, and with good reason. So tell me, how is it any different if it was couched as fiction? Anyone who would get their yaya's by calling fat people names is no better than Howard Stern, Tom Leykis and the asshats who post hateful diatribes against fat people. Difference is, if those guys posted here they'd be deleted. And yet these comments, made by so called FA's, still exist on this site. Niiiiiice.

I can't predict what our Webmaster will choose to do with all this, but I will agree this has gotten to be a pretty partisan and personal discussion that needs to get back to the issues themselves.
But isn't this an issue worth discussing? Why sweep it under the rug? Because it makes people uncomfortable? Sometimes we have to talk through difficult issues in order to find our way forward. How is this a bad thing?
 

Miss Vickie

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Oh and for those who think that the kid-oriented stories are gone, feast your eyes on this little baby.

So drugging and stuffing minors for sexual gratification is just fine and dandy? Good to know!
 

James

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Oh and for those who think that the kid-oriented stories are gone, feast your eyes on this little baby.

So drugging and stuffing minors for sexual gratification is just fine and dandy? Good to know!
Thanks for identifying this. We have a group of mods that have combed through, removing over 250 stories with underage characters so far, but its always helpful when community members find stuff we've missed. Its a big library so if you come across something that continues to be in violation of the revised rules as they stand now, just let one of us know by PM and we'll remove it.

The story is now removed.
 

katorade

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Oh and for those who think that the kid-oriented stories are gone, feast your eyes on this little baby.

So drugging and stuffing minors for sexual gratification is just fine and dandy? Good to know!
Or, how 'bout this one: http://www.dimensionsmagazine.com/forums/showthread.php?t=11683

Main character starts out at 13 and remains a minor for most of the story. Author is 16 (wtf?). The people that commented even pointed out that the age was inappropriate!

That took me less than two minutes to find. Two minutes. No, that wasn't a witch hunt, just pointing out how incredibly easy it is to pick out these stories without even trying. Find a title that sounds like it may contain children. Check. Yep. Ding, fries are done.

Also found one posted by Observer himself with a 17 year old main character in it, but...whatever.

James, I'm not trying to sound like you guys aren't doing your job, because I know that the mods are up to their elbows in it right now. I just wanted to show how actually rampant the problem is when you can pretty much close your eyes, throw a rock, and hit a story with minors in it. (Ooh, look, notice I didn't say pedophilia? Minors, people. Key word is minors!)
 
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