What does DIMs and the BHM/FFA Board Mean to you?

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Cane

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Jun 17, 2008
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I'm not really sure what Dims really means to me. Despite being a BHM I still feel kind of out of place here and find it difficult to make any friends in the FA community. **shrug**
 

BLUEeyedBanshee

Ministry of Truth
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I'm not really sure what Dims really means to me. Despite being a BHM I still feel kind of out of place here and find it difficult to make any friends in the FA community. **shrug**
Stick around, post on the boards and get to know the folks around here. Most won't bite...well unless you ask nicely. ;)
 

ezra1129

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Oct 12, 2005
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I just like finding out that there is at least one place where a straight BHM may find a place where women may find us attractive.
 

Surlysomething

In Remembrance
In Remembrance
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I wish it meant more, but I find it disappointing.


I feel marginalized because i'm a BBW that is attracted to BHM and it never feels like that's a cool flavour anywhere on this site, even here.

I was really hoping that it would be at least in this area of the board, but it's not and it never has been.
 

William

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Hi Surly

Lots of BHM here have expressed attraction and/or a fellowship with BBWs to the point where skinnier FFAs have sometimes felt left out.

William



I wish it meant more, but I find it disappointing.


I feel marginalized because i'm a BBW that is attracted to BHM and it never feels like that's a cool flavour anywhere on this site, even here.

I was really hoping that it would be at least in this area of the board, but it's not and it never has been.
 

William

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Well lately we are in a phase, but it was the strong BBW presence that attracted me here in the first place and some of the ladies are still here. I guess it is all cyclical.

William


Haha. Really, William? I don't see it.
 

Surlysomething

In Remembrance
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Well lately we are in a phase, but it was the strong BBW presence that attracted me here in the first place and some of the ladies are still here. I guess it is all cyclical.

William

Could be. I still find it disappointing that I feel out of place.
 

William

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You are right

I looked back through the older pages and there aren't many BBWs around here. I think that the old old pages got lost when the Sever crashed.

William



Could be. I still find it disappointing that I feel out of place.
 

Tad

Dimensions' loiterer
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Sep 29, 2005
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The great white north, eh?
I also think that maybe a lot of other FA/BHM and FA/BBW have, like Surly, just kind of given up waving that flag. I can think of a few factors:

- Obviously, it always seems that most members of the other gender don't match up, and any minority can find itself lost amongst louder voices. This was part of what led to the creation of the BHM/FFA board, and over the yeras it really has helped to grow this community, bit by bit.

- Fat FA know well how it feels to be snubbed, so I think maybe are a little more likely to try to be considerate of people who are not their own cup of tea.

- Fat FA are apt to be pulled towards more than one board: one board where people tend to admire those of their size, and another where people the size they admire hang out. Which reduces their presence at any one place, maybe making them seem even less present.

- You know all those stereotypes about fat people dating fat people? Maybe sometimes, away from the computer, that leads fat FA to have a little easier time finding a partner, compared say with a fat person who is only interested in a thin partner? (I'm purely speculating on this one).

- Sometimes I think what is key is hitting some critical mass. Look at how the bashes around New Jersey and Boston have just exploded in popularity, judging from the postings here. I think when there are not many people in your area, sharing your preference, or whatever, it tends to be discouraging and people are less inclined to really put themselves out there, because it feels like 'what is the point?' I don't think we have ever demonstrated that Dimensions has a critical mass of fat FA....it might be there, but the reasons above have kept it from being obvious.

Just my quick thoughts.
 

viracocha

Hot like sauce
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Jan 30, 2008
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- Obviously, it always seems that most members of the other gender don't match up, and any minority can find itself lost amongst louder voices. This was part of what led to the creation of the BHM/FFA board, and over the yeras it really has helped to grow this community, bit by bit.

- Fat FA know well how it feels to be snubbed, so I think maybe are a little more likely to try to be considerate of people who are not their own cup of tea.

- Fat FA are apt to be pulled towards more than one board: one board where people tend to admire those of their size, and another where people the size they admire hang out. Which reduces their presence at any one place, maybe making them seem even less present.

- You know all those stereotypes about fat people dating fat people? Maybe sometimes, away from the computer, that leads fat FA to have a little easier time finding a partner, compared say with a fat person who is only interested in a thin partner? (I'm purely speculating on this one).

- Sometimes I think what is key is hitting some critical mass. Look at how the bashes around New Jersey and Boston have just exploded in popularity, judging from the postings here. I think when there are not many people in your area, sharing your preference, or whatever, it tends to be discouraging and people are less inclined to really put themselves out there, because it feels like 'what is the point?' I don't think we have ever demonstrated that Dimensions has a critical mass of fat FA....it might be there, but the reasons above have kept it from being obvious.

Just my quick thoughts.
I think you nailed it, Ed. While Dims certainly has a emotional magnitude for each person here, it's most effective as a framework for grassroots membership. Dims is something of a rallying point around which all parties can participate, albeit on different levels with differing ideas of activism. By having many members that belong in many categories, I think we tend to split and exclude rather than gather. But given enough people, similarities within subgroups can inspire realization of the similarities between subgroups.

The challenge seems to be getting past the "what's the point?" threshold and reaching critical mass (great pun, mass and Dims... ;))

However, I see Dims occuring at broad spatial scales, so why are the most active groups on Dims all geographically clustered? I'd venture that it's through physical application of similar socialization that Dims offers, but only on a community level. Being around other Dimmers provides the opportunity not only to speak out on behalf of everyone here, but to bring that to family, friends, and the world. It's putting a face on a cause.

Anyway, my digression is based in what Dims means to me and why it's important, so I hope maybe a few more people will try to expand the reach of Dims. Sorry if I'm getting too excited, but I really want to incorporate some of these behaviors in my area and I'm kind of a GIS geek... Wee!:D

Oh yeah, I also agree w/Ed on the likelihood of fat FAs more often finding partners than others with one seeking a preferred, mandatory body type. I think it seems a little bit ironic that Dims is about size acceptance (granted I understand that sometimes preference can be fairly absolute in sex) and there are limits in the definitions of preferences. But if you enlarge the group for potential partners, statistically speaking you should have a better chance of nabbing one. Thanks for putting up with my long-winded spiels!

--Katy
 

berlin-girl

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Apr 28, 2007
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well... on one hand this board doesn´t seem to do much for me (or vice versa ;) ) - i´m not THAT much of an internet-person, never ever visited a chatroom e.g., too shy to write personal messages to people just because they share my sexual interests. AND i´m from that little country farfaraway of most of the guys & gals round here, so that actually MEETING anybody "off the board" is quite unlikely. not to mention my BIG beautiful boyfriend, because of whom i gotta refrain from any encounter with the slightest erotical background :p.

on the other hand, especially on days like this (when my boyfriend is working 150 miles away, and everything sucks so much that i can´t go to work myself etc pp) DIMs is one, if not THE thing that keeps me alive!
sounds quite dramatic, naja, but to put it in plain words: sex is one major force that pulls me through live. and my sex is -whatasurprise- centered around well-build BHM. i find a lot of them here -> THANK YOU, THANK YOU, THANK YOU! :bow: you´re awesome!

though i´m mostly into stories (STORIES, STORIES! give me something to read!!!! [ow, what an oral fixation ;] ), i like the "real live" touch this board provides.


thanxxxx again, keep on rockin! b.g.
 

Smite

Here Comes Your Man
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Mar 2, 2008
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Dim's is my new home, again, I think that makes sense. :O
 

William

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Hi

I see Dims as a Fat Friendly place and the BHM/FFA as a special place where Fat Men, FFA & FFFA (FFFA= Fat Female Fat Admirer) can all feel comfortable.

Historically this has included FFA who were not necessarily looking for Fat Men. I look back at the start of this board and I am proud that BBW were treated as part of the community from the very start as were Skinny FFA.

William
 

ClockworkOrange

A Voice from Catland
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Oct 1, 2008
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Dims is great because there's no need to explain or defend yourself, the way you look, or the feelings that you have (or who you are attracted to). It would be nice if the rest of the world was like Dims :)

You never feel alienated because of how you look or feel, and that's really important. People should flourish, not shell up and hide. I mean, sure this is the internet but like it or not it's a huge part of a large % of people's lives in this day and age.

Nothing in this world is perfect, but when it comes to providing a comfortable forum filled with wonderful people to meet and greet with no shallow isolation regarding weight or any other feature/feeling (and even though some of the forums are dedicated to say, BHM or FA, everyone is welcome to every extent and that's awesome!), Dims does a pretty damn good job.

I don't mean this to sound like an advertisement haha I'm just very happy with this site and the people I've met and talked with :) Rock on folks, rock on!
 

desertcheeseman

I like dessert cheese too
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Jan 23, 2009
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I like that I can post pictures of myself, and not only do I not get harassed by thousands of internet trolls, I might actually get a compliment or two. And yes, as a FA I do participate in the BBW forums, but it is really nice to have a place to discuss issues relating to being a larger man.
 

MasterShake

My Fist, Your Face!
Joined
Feb 4, 2007
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It's nice having people sympathetic to issues for larger guys, be it dating, finding nice clothes, my nipples, etc.

I'm grateful for my 'brother from another mother', Escapist. :p

I'll also say, I do enjoy the FFA eye candy! :smitten: Too bad none of them lived in KC!
 

rabbitislove

24 Carrot Magic
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Dec 15, 2006
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It's nice having people sympathetic to issues for larger guys, be it dating, finding nice clothes, my nipples, etc.

I'm grateful for my 'brother from another mother', Escapist. :p

I'll also say, I do enjoy the FFA eye candy! :smitten: Too bad none of them lived in KC!
You gotta stop stressing about those nipples. Im sure there nice ;)

(Ill check them out for you and fix deine cable. I am zee expert).
 

Paquito

don't July to me
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Dec 26, 2007
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It's nice having people sympathetic to issues for larger guys, be it dating, finding nice clothes, my nipples, etc.

I'm grateful for my 'brother from another mother', Escapist. :p

I'll also say, I do enjoy the FFA eye candy! :smitten: Too bad none of them lived in KC!
As someone who's had nipples the size of half-dollars since I was a young one, we shall overcome my brother!
 
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